messed up. days and nights. me even more, but so much enjoying it.. because I am not being very honest to myself and others at the moment.. because I have nothing to say at the moment.. because I found these lines today and they seemed perfect for the moment. because of this all and many more:
'...and so i found a way not to continue my previous life,
and so i found the strength not to pick up those pieces of past...
you will tell me your life story again and again,
you will tell me your sad story the whole night through,
when you will finally realize it is only a story to tell,
it is not happening anymore,
when you will realize they are only words,
when you will be able to screw it up and throw your past in a garbage bin,
then we will think who you will be from now on..' /c.p./

nothing compares to her

yes, it is officially announced that sinead o'connor will play this summers' positivus ab festival in salacgrīva. i'm thrilled and scared at the same time. scared of disapointment since she has been into rasta music recently ( which is not bad at all, but I would prefer to hear her singing about broken hearts and jealousy than jerusalem and babylon). anyways, her music has saved me from the trap of r'n'b and hip-hop that I was cought in when i was 15... :) when it comes to sinead it is all about love.

14th: wholehearted beetles

another list has arrived to post, this time only 10 tracks, but that is only to keep Sunday the day. never mind but don't stop listening.

#183 Portugal. The Man - Colors

#184 Madcon - Wholehearted

#185 Yo La Tengo – Gentle Hour

#186 Suburbian Kids With Biblical Names - 1999

#187 Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Hysteric (+ Little Shadow)

#188 Warpaint – Beetles

#189 Bibio – Dopplerton

#190 The Decemberists - The Rake’s Song

#191 Amanda Palmer - Another Year

#192 They Live By Night - Crl+Alt+Del my Heart

changing perceptions

what you give is what you get back. old and well known truth always in my pocket wherever i go. it is not that i did something and then waited for some benefits back.. haha, no, but.. last days i have experienced how nice and caring people can be. due to me being a bit handicapped ( oh, how it sounds) everyone around me has been so good to me. i feel bad about it even, asking people not to worry too much. friends and random people. the conclusions could be two. first, i have been nice to others and now it is coming back. second (most likely) i will have to pay back later... hehe. whatever it was, i am saying big THANK YOU to everyone involved. crg is smiling.

Top Secret or team Plose '09

slow down, baby

nobody wanted and expected it to happen, but it did. i fell down skiing and something happened to my right knee. i say something because it is not known yet what exactly. waiting for dad to bring me to hospital to check it once more right now. i already spent one lovely afternoon in brixen's krankenhaus a couple of days ago, have to admit the doctors are very handsome and nice there. could not complain about service either.. it is not broken that is for sure. pain was enourmous but i did not even cry. just in the evening when i wanted mum and dad to be with me.

several men have carried me in their arms for the last days, but since i am home - have to walk around on my own. clibing stairs to my room takes time equal to half of bjork's song hypperballad, where she sings: i go trough all this..

will keep everyone updated here, but this feels like someone has told me: slow down, you are running to fast, grabbing too much, wanting to manage unmanagable..

I've lied

some weeks ago answering to question somewhere what i was afraid of, my answer was nothing/no one. with saying that i excluded stuff like being old and sick, dying alone etc. but. one simple truth is that i am very afraid of dogs. i had forgotten it until this afternoon. no, don't expect scary blood story now, nothing happened for real.

anyways, i was on my way home from school, got out of a bus number 53 and stopped before crossing the big road. it was then when i felt something warm and wet touching my hand. like crazy drums went my heart as i saw that it is a big wolfhound looking at me. it seemed to be very calm at the beginning and because it had a collar I gazed around hoping to see its owner. nope, it was there alone. so i kept on walking expecting it to stay behind. ha. it walked along so close and touching my hand a couple of more times. and as i was getting more nervous it did so as well what scared me even more. maybe it was hungry. maybe lonely or lost. but to be very honest i just did not care. i was happy to close the gate after me. it stayed there looking at me for a while and then walked further.

i hope you are ok, doggy, but we have different ways to go...

13th: Gone Again, Daniel

2009 until this has been an amazing year in music. we have so many great albums out (including plenty of exciting debuts) that it is a shame to listen to one album twice... though I still do it. :)

#169 Bosque Brown - This Town

#170 Yellow Fever - Hellfire

#171 Emily Loizeau - Ma Maison

#172 None For The First Time - Voila

#173 Little Wings - Gone Again

#174 Katzenjammer - A Bar in Amsterdam

#175 Benji Hughes - If Ever

#176 Fanfarlo - Ghosts

#177 Bat For Lashes - Daniel

#178 Shout Out Louds - Tonight I Have To Leave It

#179 Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - White Corolla

#180 Ou Est Le Swimming Pool - Dance The Way I Feel

#181 Amadou & Mariam - Sabali

#182 Polly Scattergood - Other Too Endless